Posted by
Rajjpuut's Folly on Monday, July 06, 2009 10:15:10 PM
Green Leaders Embrace
Cult-Suicide Tactic
Citing the extremely long and drawn out character of virtually all green actions and contemplated actions around the globe, environmentalist leaders meeting today in Jonestown, Guyana embraced a new “strage-tactic”: encouraging cult-suicide as mankind’s “best hope for environmental integrity.” “It’s the only way to fly,” said Green Paws President-Elect William “Wild-Bill Kill ‘em all” Thompsen. Thompsen said, instead of "speechifying and preparing and preparing for one big environmental showdown, every little thing we do from now on removes the stain of mankind from the planet and increases ‘global worming’,” the environmental catch phrase for rubbing out humanity and turning them all into worm-feed.
The green leaders’ choice of site was, of course, greatly symbolic. Bob Redfart, green movie star and director of the environmental classic “A River Ran Over Them,” summed up the thinking of the assembled eco-peawits in South America, “Look it took 47 years to get malaria back to doing its job (killing two million people annually), who’s got that kind of time? The folks here in ’78 showed the world how it’s down. Sip-sip-sip and just like that you immediately return your self to nature and erase the carbon footprints of 900, say a thousand people that quickly . . .” as he snapped his fingers and segued into an impromptu break-dance, "You just can't count on mosquitoes to be efficient, can you?"
“The trouble is,” Redfart continued, “. . . folks in leadership roles like me and Boobs (referring to Boobra Tricebanned nearby) should really have the honor of showing the folks how to do it, but then if we did, who’s gonna lead the movement, who’s gonna prevent back-sliding. Unfortunately, we’ll probably have to start with some ultra-right wing church group that would vote against ‘The Fulfillment’ anyway,” he sighed, “Logistically, it’s a sad fact but we Greenies are gonna have to go last.” “The Fulfillment” is a green movement term for what National Socialists in Germany called the “Final Solution” but aimed at all of annoying environmentally-dangerous mankind rather than just one select group. “It’s gonna be glorious, just Eden all over again and the snake can babble all he wants, no one eats off the tree of environmental corruption.”
Ya'all live long, strong and ornery,
Rajjpuut